My Lesson in Growth

I lived my childhood worrying; worrying about what others thought of me, whether or not I was good enough, and whether or not I fit in. My insecurities held me back for years. They kept me from asking for what I wanted and what I needed. They kept me from putting myself out there and trying.

Throughout my years spent fearing inadequacy, I collected a mountain of notebooks, sketchbooks, and other art supplies that I was too scared to use. I was worried that I would waste them, and believed that I should save them until I had an idea good enough to warrant using them. I thought creativity and inspiration would come naturally, and that I only had to wait to happen across something good. What I didn’t realize is that, while creativity and inspiration may occur naturally, they still need to be found. You find creativity through creating.

That ‘bad’ idea of yours that you think isn’t worth tainting your new notebook for? Write it down. Right now. ‘Bad’ ideas are seeds. Plant them, care for them, and let them grow. You’ll find more seeds, and a forest will begin to form as you care for them. Maybe that first idea won’t grow to fruit, but you’ll learn a lot just from planting it. There is no need to be afraid of failure; everyone you know and look up to has failed at least once. It’s the best way to learn.

I absolutely ruin my notebooks now. I write down every thought I can. A lot of my ideas haven’t gone anywhere, but many have brought me great joy. One thing this experience has taught me is that there is no such thing as a wasted notebook. I’m proud of the things I have created, and you should be proud of your creations as well. Even if they don’t appear to amount to anything, they are symbols of your growing forest.